From: Kevin Presbrey <email@example.com>
Subject: New Music from Americana Artist of the Year: Kevin Presbrey
Dear Music Enthusiast,
Don’t miss out on America’s number 1 choice for the best new Americana artist of 2015! Check out our website for tour dates near you this spring and summer.
Dear spamming cunt, I wouldn’t attend your concert if you paid me. OK, maybe if I could patch into your sound system and heckle you all night, it might be worth it.
How fucking gawdawful of an “artist” are you that you need to be a tone deaf spammer to get suckers to attend your self-love sessions?
“Listening to the music of Kevin Presbrey is a sonic treat.” — Music News Nashville
Much like listening to a cat screech and dogs yowl when someone drags their fingernails over a blackboard while a microphone hooked into a 100 megawatt public address system picks up every nuance.
Kevin’s spam is more annoying than that whiny kid from the Home Alone movie. Hey Kevlar, I’d like to see you hook up your speaker system to 220 V and step in the shower and serenade yourself to death. Now that I’d pay to see.