From: Ava Grey <email@example.com>
Subject: Complimentary Payroll Service
I’m touching base to find out if you are considering cutting your payroll costs and employee benefits administration.
Well Avante Garde, no, I cannot use your services. You see, some other spamming cunts convinced me to offshore all my work to India so now I have no employees anymore. But say, Gravy, I can put you in touch with some Indian spammers so they can offshore your job so you don’t have to waste your life being a cunt. Oops, I meant fucking spammer.
If you were even remotely legit, you’d have a working web site at hrx-services.com but you’re too lazy to have anything but an index page. So, yeah, spamming cunt. And I’m supposed to trust my employee’s personal details and bank information to you? I guess that also makes you one of the stupidest spamming cunts, and believe me, I’ve heard from many.
Let’s talk. Today is a good time.
Actually, Ava Gardner, that’s a teeny, tiny bit presumptuous of you to assume that it’s a good time for me. But, I’ll tell you what, if you have time to drop by and blow me while I fuck you in the ass with an electric charcoal lighter, I’ll clear my calendar for that.