Subject: Update 2011-2012
Subject: Business Guide Update 2011-2012
Other addresses of these fuckheads:
These turds are from The Netherlands and have very incompetent parents who did a lousy job of raising their kids. The brats are the ones who decided to become dickwad spammers. I wonder if their parents still allow them back into their house. Would you if they were your kids? Didn’t think so.
Subject: Append Your Missing Database
“We have an In-house database with updated information on regular bases.”
Uh, Catherine sweetie, I think you mean “basis”, right? When you get out of school, and that’s a big “if” given your knowledge of the English language, drop by and blow me.
Subject: <<In 2010 Use a Headhunter that DOESN’T Cost an arm and a leg!!>>
The headhunter doesn’t cost an arm and a leg but he sure as hell spams. Do you really want spammers hiring people for you? Really? I thought not.
So where are the professional offices of Mr. Mondaro? In a house. I’m not kidding. Check it out:
62 Garview Court
Doesn’t that make you feel really confident now? Me neither.
Psst: Hey Monardo, you do know that 2010 is almost over, right? Like maybe your subject line should be talking about 2011 — just sayin’.
From: “Ashley Greene” <email@example.com>
Subject: Business development update
Update? Doesn’t that imply that we have some sort of business development relationship and you’re providing an update. But, dear Ashley, we have no such relationship — not even a carnal relationship, so your sending me email pretending to be an update is a lie. No surprise coming from a spammer.
“We are an online marketing firm, specialists in providing Business list, Executing email Campaigns …”
Ignoring the bad grammar, if they’re providing a business list, then they’ve harvested addresses to whom they will spam people as part of their “email campaign.”
Dear asshole spammers. Is there anybody on the planet, other than spammers and marketers, who doesn’t know that “email campaign” is just another term for spam? You’re only deluding yourselves.
Is there any lower form of life than a spammer? Why yes, a delusional spammer.
Is there any lower form of life than a delusional spammer? Why yes, a delusional spammer whose web site is on Google apps and they haven’t even created the site before sending spam. And we’re supposed to trust those fuckers to contact prospective customers on our behalf?
So, dearest Ashley, that makes you an unprofessional, delusional spammer. I hope your parents are proud of you. You do have parents, right? Hard to tell with someone grown from the scum that forms on top of a cesspool.
Subject: Open an Account with DHL and Receive 15% off!
That’s right. DHL in Canada spammed several made-up names on one of my domains. I contacted DHL headquarters on Twitter and this is their response,
This is not spam, but sent from DHL in Canada 😉
I replied, that it’s spam when it’s sent to made-up names and is unsolicited.
Wow! DHL is officially a spammer and they’re in denial that they are the lowest form of life on the planet.
DHL = Dumb Hick Losers
[Update] DHL has now admitted that this is unacceptable and they are taking steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Thanks, guys.
From: Namrata Kumar <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Drip Marketing: Marketers Guide to Lead Nurturing
Drip Marketing? I almost snorted my coffee out through my nose. Is that marketing done by a drip? Don’t those nimrods know that a drip is a derogatory term? I guess when you’re a spammer who emigrated from India then the idiot doesn’t totally grok the culture and slang.
And “lead nurturing”. OMG, I’m gonna puke. Hey guys, I don’t want you to nurture me. Instead, blow me.