Ooh, I’m all excited! I got my first email from someone who claims not to be listed in the first posting on this site. It’s hilarious, take a read:
From: Jay Dee <email@example.com>
Date: May 3, 2010 16:50:46 EDT
Subject: You are uneducated
I am not on your list but I still take offense as you don’t know the email laws very well. Any business is legally able to send you email as long as they comply with the FTC rules. Take a read (truly read it) and you will see with some very simple things in place in the email people can send you commercial email that you did not ask for. Now extortion is not legal!
Maybe I should start a website for the uneducated; Bad idea, the list would be to long. [Uh, Jay, if you’re going to call someone uneducated you should ensure your grammar is perfect. There should be a comma after ‘offense’. That’s ‘too long’, not ‘to long’ and there’s no capitalization after a semicolon.]
Jay — dude — not everyone lives in the U.S. and is subject to U.S. laws. And you call me uneducated? You’re quite the comedian. Please, start that web site of yours and add your name to the top of the list.
You assume that all the spammers are from the U.S. and follow FTC regulations before sending their spam. That’s a crazy ass-umption. They’re in the minority. And spam is spam no matter what your feds call it.
Since you claim not to be a spammer, then you didn’t visit one of the web sites where spammers stole my address, in spite of the terms of service of those sites, that clearly states that anyone who sends me unsolicited commercial email is agreeing to have me evaluate it for $1000 per message and to have their email address posted on a web site of my choosing. So any bozo who sends me spam under any laws of their country has accepted those terms. I’ve held up my end of the bargain by posting their address. If they don’t like that, then they shouldn’t have sent me spam. But, being the super nice guy I am, I offer to remove their address once they’ve settled their account for the evaluation of their spam, uh, I mean generous offer. That’s not extortion, that’s a contract that the spammers entered into once they stole my address and spammed me.
Anyway, thanks for becoming one of my customers and agreeing to pay me $1000 to evaluate your email. So, if you’re done making a fool of yourself, I look forward to payment at your earliest opportunity. Since you have so much respect for the law, I’m sure you’ll do the right thing and pay up. You are a law-abiding person, right Jay?
Oh, by the way, as I do with all spammers, I blacklisted your address. I suggest an email money transfer that many banks offer. I’m not blocking bank domains — they’re smart enough not to spam me.
So next time Jay, don’t shoot your mouth off and call people names without getting the facts. You just em-bare-ass yourself. Have a nice day and thanks for the laugh.
[Update: Jay, my man, when are you going to pay up? I’ve been waiting a long time. Oh, I see, you just quote the law when it suits you. I got it. Well, the world now knows that Jay is a deadbeat. Siooma! (Google it) ]