Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Posts Tagged ‘priest’

The Irish are a disgrace?

This cartoon came out shortly after the Irish enshrined same sex marriage into their constitution.

Before the Catholic Church points fingers they should familiarize themselves with that whole, “those in glass houses…” saying.

Those Irish are a disgrace to mankind!

Those Irish are a disgrace to mankind!

Have you seen my cock?

Source:  The Unknown Comic [Facebook]

The priest of a small village church was proud of the rooster and hens he kept in back of the church. One night his rooster was missing and the priest suspected someone in his congregation stole it.

The next Sunday at mass he asked, “Does anyone have a cock?”

Confused, all the men stood up.

“No,” said the priest. “I mean, has anyone seen a cock?”

Suddenly all the women stood up.

Annoyed, the priest said, “No, you misunderstood. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”

This time, half the women stood up.

Now angry, the priest said, “That’s not what I meant either. Has anybody seen my cock?”

All the choir boys stood up.

Anatomically perfect match

You’ve got to admire the brilliance of god to create humans that are anatomically matched so perfectly. Praise the lord!

God, the jolly joker

Catholic priest dies of heart attack while performing wedding ceremony in Germany

Munich’s Merkur newspaper reports that the priest had just begun a prayer Saturday at the St. Lambert abbey chapel in Bavaria when he fell forward onto the stone floor.

– Associated Press

You’ve got to admit, god has one sick sense of humor. First, he kills a 47-year old priest. I wonder why … was it because he wasn’t fucking any alter boys?

Then, he screws up the couple’s wedding. They’ll likely be scarred for life.

I know, god is punishing them all for being so stupid that they actually believe in god.

Islamists are the real nutjobs

Amateur anti-Islam film-maker is Egyptian living in California. So mob torches US consulate in Libya. Makes sense – Richard Dawkins

You christians and other religions better get your shit together. The islamist donkey-fuckers are winning hands down when it comes to behaving psychotically for their religion.

Come on, christians. I know you can do it. Try getting your priests to rape boys or something. Oh, wait …

Church’s suicide victims

Church’s suicide victims

CONFIDENTIAL police reports have detailed the suicides of at least 40 people sexually abused by Catholic clergy in Victoria, and have urged a new inquiry into these and many other deaths suspected to be linked to abuse in the church.

In a damning assessment of the church’s handling of abuse issues, the reports say it appears the church has known about a shockingly high rate of suicides and premature deaths but has “chosen to remain silent.”

The Age

So really, religion is just a front so that pedophiles can prey on boys.

The church, with its oh so pious “christian values”, remains silent amongst the frequent suicides. Well why not, who’s really important in all this anyway? Surely not the victims. It’s the reputation of the church.

The very people who are supposed to protect and comfort the weak are instead predators. And they’re helped by the senior members of the church who no doubt were predators in their time, or wish they were.

Christianity, and all religion, is an abomination. Why the fuck are you theists blind to all this?

Torture devices

Why do christians wear a symbol of a torture device around their necks? It’s pretty gruesome to have a zombie hanging from your neck. And it’s not even accurate, I mean, where’s the blood?

Just think of how outraged people would be if Germans wore little gas chambers on necklaces. The Nazis only killed a mere six million people.

God killed uncountably more people, but millions of whackjobs worship him and wear symbols of all that is wrong with christianity.

It certainly doesn’t stop priests from being pedophiles. It doesn’t stop people from raping, murdering, stealing — so, like, WTF?

Cock sucking Jews

If that headline offends you, read it again. It’s not an epithet, it’s a statement of fact. If it still offends you, FOAD.

If you think that headline is anti-semitic, it’s not, it’s anti-stupidity == anti-religion.

Despite baby dying after getting herpes, Orthodox rabbis say they’ll defy law on ancient circumcision ritual – Kate Briquelet


Over the past decade, at least one other newborn died after contracting herpes from the rite, in which the rabbi draws blood from the penis with his mouth.

So it’s not just priests who are pedophiles, rabbis are too. You religious people have no morals. You’re really sicko whack-jobs.