Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Posts Tagged ‘prayer’

Which is it?

Hey Christians!! I’m STILL an Atheist! Either you lied about praying for me or prayer doesn’t work… which is it?


Theists don’t even believe in prayer

It’s a good thing that theists don’t rely on prayer to survive. How do I know this? Well, you don’t see a theist standing at the curb, praying to clear traffic, and then blindly stepping out relying on god to keep them safe.

With notable idiotic exceptions, you don’t see a theist praying to keep them healthy with a burst appendix, or a broken bone, or a major laceration, or a bullet wound. No, they usually go to a hospital and depend on the science and medicine of the doctors and nurses to heal them.

They get jobs rather than praying to their god to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads.

If theists didn’t work, or go to the doctor, they would die at an alarming rate and, ironically, evolution would remove their gene pool from humanity. In the future, we’d have almost no theists and those that would pop up would die off quickly.

This is the hypocrisy that is religion. The ‘believers’ don’t really believe in their own dogma. They don’t believe in the power of prayer. Oh sure, if medicine fails them they might resort to prayer. Even while receiving medical treatment they might pray and when they’re healed, thank god instead of the good people who did the actual work. Ungrateful bastards.

But virtually all theists will choose common sense, hard work, science and medicine first, and prayer second to provide for them, keep them safe and healthy.

They don’t see it that way. You can’t point that out to them without them getting all defensive and yet still not have a plausible explanation for why they don’t believe in prayer.

Theists really are a sad, pitiable lot.


Prayer cures all illnesses

So maybe prayer accomplishes jack-shit. Atheists have known that for a long time.

Science vs. Religion: It’s simple, really.


Impress your employer

Impress your employer … Tell them you don’t need a paycheck anymore. You’re going to pray to your god to provide for your needs.


Have faith in your god

This is a sincere message to every religious person reading this.

Please, please, the next time you’re sick or injured, don’t waste time wondering why your god let you down.

Just pray as hard as you can for your god to help you. Get every one of your family members and friends to pray as hard as they can. Ask everyone in your church or synagogue or mosque, and everyone on the Internet to pray for you.

But, whatever you do, don’t go to a doctor or a hospital for treatment.* Those are for atheists like me who don’t believe in your all-powerful, all-loving, caring, and compassionate god.

Your god will save you — but — if he doesn’t, then that was all part of god’s plan and you should never question god’s plan for you. If god wants you to be in horrible pain, or wants you to die a slow, painful death, then who are you to question him?

So remember, don’t see a doctor, just pray.*

Every atheist will be thankful to to have a few less whack-jobs roaming the planet.

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The power of prayer

If religious people truly believe in the power of prayer, why do they …

  • … ever go see a doctor? Won’t their god cure any illness? Hey, wait a minute, why did their god give them the illness to start with? What a prick!
  • … bother to work? If they pray to win a lottery, won’t their god answer? Why doesn’t god just put a bazillian bucks in their bank account? God is rich, right?
  • … give money to charities? Why do charities even need to exist? Why isn’t god answering all those people praying to help the starving people or those injured and homeless from a natural disaster? Why did god starve those people and inflict a disaster upon them?
  • … wait for the light to cross a busy street? If they’ve been good little god-lovers, won’t god protect them?
  • … avoid playing Russian-roulette? If they prayed to god, surely he would never let the gun fire.

This could go on forever. Come on theists, you crazy rascals, you know you don’t believe in all that prayer shit.

Praying to god for anything is like sending a letter to Santa Claus.


God works in mysterious ways

Challenge to the religious:

  1. Get a coin.
  2. Pray as hard as you can to get tails (or heads in case you think god has a favorite).
  3. Flip it.
  4. If it lands with your pick face up you’ll say, “Thank you, Jesus!” If you get the opposite you’ll say, “God works in mysterious ways.”
  5. Repeat as many times as you like.

If you do this often enough, without changing what side you pray for, you will find that the coin lands heads up about as often as tails up. So what does this say about god? He’s either a jolly joker, an asshole, or — there is no fucking god. Duh.

But, you say, god has more important things to do than influence a coin toss. Are you serious? Have you seen how many religious nutjobs pray to influence the outcome of a fucking sporting event? As if god is going to take sides. And if they win, then they praise the lord.

God does have more important things to do. He likes to starve children, let priests molest boys, give some people a horrible disease but not others. Yeah, god loves a good game of chance. Too bad you’re always the loser for believing in him.