Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Posts Tagged ‘Mary’

Lie your way out of trouble

There are a few stories in the bible that seem to indicate they were invented by the goat herders that wrote them as a means of getting out of trouble.

The story of the virgin Mary is an obvious one. Woman gets banged by another guy, claims to have a virgin birth, father believes it.

And there’s Jonah. Gets drunk, gets into a bar fight, goes to a brothel to recuperate for three days before crawling home. Tells wife he was swallowed by a whale. Goat herder wife thinks that’s plausible.

What I don’t understand is why christians today still believe that total bullshit. They’d never try those stories on their spouses, but since it’s in the bible, a book written by — have I mentioned this — goat herders, then it must be true.

Sigh, you christians are so gullible.

Oil me up

She gives birth and is called Virgin Mary? And Christians believe that shit. They wouldn’t believe it from anybody else, just some ancient broad who was having an affair and got pregnant.

I suppose the next thing you’re going to tell me is that this olive oil has never been fucked.