A conversation I once had many years ago told to the best of my recollection. I’ve since learned not to waste my time …
Christian: Why don’t you believe in God?
Me: Which god?
Christian: You know, GOD!
Me: There are thousands of gods. Tell me which one you believe in.
Christian: There’s only one true God!
Me: And that would be the one you believe in?
Christian: Of course. All those other gods aren’t real. Only ignorant, backwards people believe in them.
Me: So you don’t believe in Zeus, or Thor?
Christian: Of course not. That would be crazy! They’re ancient myths.
Me: But your god is real?
Me: How do you know?
Christian: It’s in the Bible.
Me: Why do you trust that book?
Christian: It was written by God.
Me: Actually, your bible was written by iron age goat herders, but let’s ignore that for now. So your god wrote a book with proof of his own existence?
Me: Isn’t that circular logic?
Christian: Uh, what?
Me: Never mind. There are plenty of books on Santa Claus. Why don’t you believe in him?
Christian: That’s childish. I grew up and learned the truth.
Me: You grew up? Hmm …
Christian: What’s that supposed to mean?!
Me: Nothing. As an adult, I don’t accept wild claims on face value. I need undeniable proof. What proof is there of the existence of any god that will stand up to peer-reviewed scientific investigation?
Christian: What’s science got to do with it? You need to have faith.
Me: That’s not enough. I need proof.
Christian: THEN READ THE BIBLE!
Me: There are many religious books for other faiths. If I read them instead, wouldn’t I wind up believing in their god?
Christian: THE BIBLE IS THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN BELIEVE BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY GOD!
Me: I didn’t mean to get you upset and we’ve covered that already. Let’s start again. Here’s a great book my parents read to me as a child, and I read to my child, but unlike the bible there are many other ones like it. It’s called The Night Before Christmas. You’ll enjoy it. It proves the existence of Santa Claus. Look, here’s an illustration of him.
Christian: I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!!! [Storms out]
Me [calling after her]: I hope you open your mind to the truth. It’s waiting for you.