Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Posts Tagged ‘existence’

God is testing your gullibility

1) If God truly exists then he probably doesn’t want to spend eternity with idiots.
2) God is a creation to identify and control the ignorant.

I’m sure these are not original thoughts, but since I haven’t seen anyone else express them, they’re original to me. Cue those who will now complain about how poorly read and ignorant I am.

God doesn’t want to spend eternity with idiots

If a god or gods exist then my imagining of them would be they are pretty clever beings to have invented a whole universe and countless other civilizations occupying planets throughout that and other universes. Being clever, they don’t want to spend eternity with idiots so they’ve devised a gullibility test. Those who fail are the ones to go to Hell. But don’t worry, I imagine Hell to be just watching local furniture and used car commercials for eternity.

If you believe in a god based on zero credible evidence; with the only “evidence” a book that is so full of silliness and inconsistencies and outright horrors; if you murder and rape and enslave and treat people as inferior based on that book, then perhaps it is you who are the inferior ones and the gods don’t want you with them in Heaven or Paradise.

The more strident you profess your beliefs, the lower your score and you’re resigned to Hell upon your death.

God is a creation to identify and control the ignorant

The probability of a god existing is so far-fetched that it is a rounding error. As an engineer I take a probability number like 0.000…[more zeroes than atoms in the universe]…001% and round it to 0.

Thus the gods are man-made and throughout history have been used to identity the people who are so ignorant and gullible that they can be easily controlled by powerful people. I’m not saying that all powerful people are atheists—far from it—but there are more powerful people controlling them.

And, absolutely NO! I’m not saying atheists are the root of all evil. People doing evil seldom, if ever, claim to be doing it because they are atheists or for the cause of atheism. They are doing evil because they are evil people. If nobody believed in gods, they’d find some other way to control people. It’s in a sociopath’s nature.

Given the uncountable magnitude of the money being funnelled into religion by believers, often at great financial hardship based on empty promises, you know I’m right.

Not that I believe for one second that there was a god watching me as I wrote this post, but if there was I can’t help but believe she was thinking, “How am I going to fix this mess I made,” because a god of my imagining wouldn’t be concerned about some guy writing a blog post. She’d be trying to fix poverty, hunger, homelessness, violence, …

 


Purple People Eaters really do exist

Here is solid proof on the existence of a One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater. Not just some silly book written by iron-age goat herders. Oh, no!

Search Google for proof. Over 300,000 results!

There’s even video proof. See for yourself and HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE THE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!


The Good, the Bad, and the Religious Nutjobs

Anybody who prays for deliverance from some unspeakable evil, or horror such as cancer, tornado, crazed gunman, or car accident has surely got to ask why their god sent that horror to them.

I mean, if your god has some great, mysterious plan, then why the fuck are you praying to get him to change his mind? Do you think you’re smarter than your god? You’re clearly not very bright because — well — you believe in invisible beings whose existence has never been proven.

And to all the sports players who thank the lord for letting your side win I can only say that you’re demented. Do you honestly believe that a being that is supposed to have created the vast universe gives a shit about your stupid game? And what, he hates the other team?

If I was that god and had to listen to all the petty prayers, fuck, I’d wipe all human life off the face of the earth. None of that Noah shit either. Everybody goes. OK, I’d keep the atheists. At least they wouldn’t be pestering me all the time.

And you know what? If I was a god, I would make it pretty damn clear that I existed. I’d offer up incontrovertible proof. I’m god. I can do anything.

God damn, religious nutjobs are so stupid.


The burden of proof is on the theists

Given sufficient scientifically verified evidence I will agree that god exists. Or Godzilla for that matter.

Or Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, an honest lawyer, a selfless CEO, …