Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Posts Tagged ‘cartoon’

ISIS hates Islam

ISIS Hates Islam

 

This was published on 2014-08-23 by the Canadian Sun newspaper chain a few days after the American journalist, James Foley, was beheaded by ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria).

ISIS is motivated by their beliefs as encapsulated in the Quran that allow infidels to be murdered, but they fail to see the damage they are doing to their own despicable version of religion. These people are the worst of humanity.

Religion poisons everything — Christopher Hitches, God is Not Great


Cartoons

When Christians drive too fast:

 

Getting the shaft:

 

Jewish Olympic swimmers:

 

Woodpeckers on the ark:


Unholy trinity

The original idea:

Click to visit Atheist Cartoons

 

Revisited:

Click to visit The Oatmeal


The making of an atheist

These kids have the making of an atheist. They’re questioning the stupidity and inconsistencies of dogma.

Let me answer these questions:

  • Were there termites on the ark?
    • No, the ark never existed, nor did the big flood. It’s all a fable to document how wrathful your fictional god is that he would destroy most life on earth even though the animals were not involved in man’s sin. And of course, this all-powerful god couldn’t think of a better way? God is just a mass-murder — or would be if this story was true.
  • How come Moses didn’t just use a pencil and paper?
    • Because if Moses thought he was hearing the word of god, he was obviously smoking something and not thinking clearly.
  • Is there McDonald’s in heaven? They seem to be everywhere.
    • Perhaps not heaven, but certainly hell. No son, there are no McDonald’s any place other than earth. Heaven is a fictional place created by men who are afraid to die. And also to keep the sheep in line, “If you give us money, you’ll be a good little christian and will go to heaven.”
  • If god answers all our prayers, how come I didn’t get a pony for my birthday?
    • Because there is no god, just your parents. Your parents couldn’t afford a pony and that’s why you didn’t get one. Or maybe you’re allergic to horses, or … there could be any number of reasons. But no, there is no god so don’t bother wasting time praying to it.
  • My brother burped in a church … is he going to hell?
    • No, there is no such thing as hell. Hell is a fictional place created by men to terrify people who question the stupidity of religion or don’t follow the mind-blowingly stupid practices. “If you do this/don’t do that, you’ll burn in hell!” So yeah, don’t sweat it kids.

      Oh, and I’m sorry that your parents are brainwashing you and making you waste hours of your young lives forcing you to sit in a building worshipping something that doesn’t exist instead of being outside playing. As soon as you’re old enough, tell them you’re an atheist and aren’t going to waste any more time on religion.

  • If all life is sacred, how come there are wars?
    • To be sacred in the religious sense then there must be a god who has the power to prevent wars. If he existed, he’d have to be a real cock-sucker to let so many of his “children” be maimed and die.

      But life is valuable to a point. That’s why most people know that war is wrong. But we also know that when life is over and you’re dying from untreatable cancer, or are brain dead, then life as a blob of protoplasm that only reacts to stimulas with reflex responses is over and a merciful death should be offered.

  • I saw Jesus’ face in a cracker once. Could I have sold it for, like, a million bucks?
    • Sadly, the fact that this question would even come up means that other misguided christians have paid ridiculous sums of money for images that coincidentally look like what people think Jesus looked like. You know, a white male instead of a middle-eastern male. So here’s an image of Jesus that’s just as valid as any other. How much will you pay for that?

And that nun looks a lot like one of my teachers in elementary school. She hated children. She was a dried-up, bitter old hag who should have been sent to rot and die in a nunnery. Maybe that cunt planted the first seeds of atheism in me. How could god let one of his own servants abuse children like she did? But then I grew up and found out about pedophile priests and was very thankful I never got suckered into being an alter boy (a.k.a. fresh meat).

So children, if you have any more questions, don’t ask your captors. Ask an intelligent, logical, thinking human being — an atheist.


Religious hypocrisy

Granted, Judaism is pretty stoopid and I see no problem with making fun of it, or any religion, because — let’s face it — religion is hilarious.

But, I also agree with the hypocrisy label. If you’re going to dish it out for your silly religion and don’t expect people of other faiths to murder you for it, then you better take it without resorting to violence.

How many thousands of years have idiotic religious fanatics been murdering people?

Read the rest of this entry »


Evolution, try it

That fish is a theist with an open mind.

The man is his parents, minister, friends, or countless other believers who don’t want to see someone better themselves by discovering the truth that religion is a sham.