Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Archive for the ‘Words of wisdom’ Category

Flat-Earthers fail at physics

I love Flat-Earthers because they’re amusing. They don’t “believe” in gravity. They claim that objects fall to the ground when released because the flat Earth is accelerating “up.” This doesn’t sound plausible but let’s see if it’s physically possible.

We want to calculate the velocity that the Earth would be moving and the amount of energy it would take to accelerate the Earth to that velocity. Let’s not quibble about where the energy comes from. Let’s just say … God farts a lot. We’ll discuss this more later.

Check my calculations, will ya?

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God is testing your gullibility

1) If God truly exists then he probably doesn’t want to spend eternity with idiots.
2) God is a creation to identify and control the ignorant.

I’m sure these are not original thoughts, but since I haven’t seen anyone else express them, they’re original to me. Cue those who will now complain about how poorly read and ignorant I am.

God doesn’t want to spend eternity with idiots

If a god or gods exist then my imagining of them would be they are pretty clever beings to have invented a whole universe and countless other civilizations occupying planets throughout that and other universes. Being clever, they don’t want to spend eternity with idiots so they’ve devised a gullibility test. Those who fail are the ones to go to Hell. But don’t worry, I imagine Hell to be just watching local furniture and used car commercials for eternity.

If you believe in a god based on zero credible evidence; with the only “evidence” a book that is so full of silliness and inconsistencies and outright horrors; if you murder and rape and enslave and treat people as inferior based on that book, then perhaps it is you who are the inferior ones and the gods don’t want you with them in Heaven or Paradise.

The more strident you profess your beliefs, the lower your score and you’re resigned to Hell upon your death.

God is a creation to identify and control the ignorant

The probability of a god existing is so far-fetched that it is a rounding error. As an engineer I take a probability number like 0.000…[more zeroes than atoms in the universe]…001% and round it to 0.

Thus the gods are man-made and throughout history have been used to identity the people who are so ignorant and gullible that they can be easily controlled by powerful people. I’m not saying that all powerful people are atheists—far from it—but there are more powerful people controlling them.

And, absolutely NO! I’m not saying atheists are the root of all evil. People doing evil seldom, if ever, claim to be doing it because they are atheists or for the cause of atheism. They are doing evil because they are evil people. If nobody believed in gods, they’d find some other way to control people. It’s in a sociopath’s nature.

Given the uncountable magnitude of the money being funnelled into religion by believers, often at great financial hardship based on empty promises, you know I’m right.

Not that I believe for one second that there was a god watching me as I wrote this post, but if there was I can’t help but believe she was thinking, “How am I going to fix this mess I made,” because a god of my imagining wouldn’t be concerned about some guy writing a blog post. She’d be trying to fix poverty, hunger, homelessness, violence, …


Holy books ARE hate speech

The primary argument we hear against critics and satirists of religion like the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists—who satirized all religions, not just Islam—is that their speech “offends billions of people.”

But what about the religions they’re targeting? The Abrahamic holy books—respected and revered by billions worldwide—prescribe the killing of disbelievers (Quran 8:12-1347:4; Leviticus 24:16); order their adherents to fight and enslave those with differing beliefs, a la ISIS (Quran 9:29-30, Deuteronomy 20:10-18); endorse wife-beating (Quran 4:34) and the stoning to death of non-virginal brides (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); order women to quietly submit to the authority of men (1 Timothy 2:11-12); and mandate the public lashing of fornicators (Quran 24:2) and the killing of homosexuals (Leviticus 20:13).

Who should really be offended here? If hate speech were really the issue, these books would be the first to go.

“No, You’re Not Taking Those Verses ‘Out of Context’”, Richard Dawkins Foundation for Science and Reason.

Eliminate the assholes

The Dilbert Principle Book CoverThis excerpt from The Dilbert Principle by Scott Adams is one of my favorites. It applies to work and home life situations, and is particularly applicable to religion.

Here are the most useful activities I can think of for a manager:

Eliminate the assholes. Nothing can drain the life-force out of your employees as a few sadistic assholes who seem to exist for the sole purpose of making life hard for others. Unfortunately, assholes often have important job skills that you’d like to keep. My advice is that it’s never worth the tradeoff. In an OA5* company if you’re making your coworkers unhappy, then you’re incompetent by definition. It’s okay to be ‘tough’ and it’s okay to be ‘aggressive’ and it’s okay to disagree — even shout. Some conflict is healthy. But if you do it with disrespect, or you seem to be enjoying it, or you do it in every situation, guess what — you’re an asshole. And you’re gone.

* OA5 — Out At 5 [pm]

Religion is an asshole. It’s sadistic. It may offer some comfort but it’s never worth the tradeoff of sacrificing common sense. It is incompetent, does not respect you, and causes strife in your life and in society. Eliminate this asshole from your life.

When a god talks back

Patient: I've invented a hat which allows me to talk to cantaloupes. Dr.: They say there's a thin line between genius and insanity. Patient: How do you know if you've crossed the line? Dr.: The cantaloupes talk back.

Patient: I’ve invented a hat which allows me to talk to cantaloupes.
Dr.: They say there’s a thin line between genius and insanity.
Patient: How do you know if you’ve crossed the line?
Dr.: The cantaloupes talk back.