Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Archive for April, 2013

Islam is a peaceful religion

Muslim "was angry that the world pictures Islam as a violent religion, so he put a bomb at the Boston Marathon to prove it's false.

Muslim “was angry that the world pictures Islam as a violent religion,” so he put a bomb at the Boston Marathon to prove it’s false.

Islam is a peaceful religion and we’ll kill anyone who says it isn’t.

 


God, Godzilla, what’s the difference?

God, Godzilla

Jesus is real. So is Godzilla.

 

If given sufficient, incontrovertible evidence, I can accept the existence of God or Godzilla. It is equally probable that I will ever see evidence for either.


We’re not angry at your god

I came back to Twitter and found an atheist and some moronic Christian having a discussion in my mentions. It caught me in a grumpy mood but I don’t like debating theists very often:

I don’t argue with theists because it’s too difficult to tell the fundies from the trolls from the mentally challenged. #Atheist — @Amused_Atheist 2012-11-05 13:38 EST.

I didn’t want to give this idiot any publicity — that’s what trolls crave — so I replied in my main feed. Correction, I went on a well deserved rant.

Since theists are pretty thick (willfully so), particularly Christians, let me explain one more time (sigh) … — (view)

When #atheists talk about your god like it’s real, we’re parodying your belief in it. Is that too hard for you to grasp? — (view)

We’re saying, “IF your god existed, why does it do none of the things you ascribe to it? Why does it let children be raped & murdered? — (view)

We cannot be angry at your god because it doesn’t exist. We are angry at the idiots who interfere with our lives in the name of their god. — (view)

We are exasperated at the logic of someone who prays for victims of violence while their “all loving and merciful god” let it happen. — (view)

We are deeply saddened that in this modern age that the fucking majority of the planet believes in sky daddies. Theists are pathetic. — (view)


Which is it?

Hey Christians!! I’m STILL an Atheist! Either you lied about praying for me or prayer doesn’t work… which is it?


Klingon religion proverbs

You can find these Klingon programming proverbs by doing a Google search, but I’ll reproduce them here for your convenience. Then I’ll use them as a template for some religion proverbs to follow

Klingon Programming Proverbs

  • Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  • This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need quad Xeon processors if I am to do battle with this code!
  • You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
  • What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
  • Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  • I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
  • A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
  • By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  • Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Klingon Religion Proverbs

  • Talking snakes are for the weak and timid!
  • The Bible is a piece of GAGH! I need Dawkins and Harris if I am to do battle with this logic!
  • You cannot really appreciate ‘God Is Not Great’ unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
  • What is this talk of ‘religion’? Klingons do not accept ‘religion’. Our response to door-to-door religion salesman leaves a bloody trail of Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses in its wake.
  • Church? Klingons do not go to church. Our species does not coddle the weak.
  • I have challenged the entire Twitter #TeamJesus cult to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
  • A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not retweet stupidity except for his amusement!
  • By teaching Creationism in schools you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  • Our haters will know fear and cower before our Twitter account! Tweet it! Tweet it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

 

This video was pointed out to me thanks to @loghaD: