Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Archive for November, 2012

Religion is like a straw

I tried choosing a religion once. It was a lot like choosing a straw for my drink. There were so many types and colors. I stood there trying to decide which was best; bendy straws, swirly ones, light up straws, really long straws, etc. After a while I just said, “Fuck it!” and walked away with my drink. It still tasted the same without a straw. — Unknown

 


Anatomically perfect match

You’ve got to admire the brilliance of god to create humans that are anatomically matched so perfectly. Praise the lord!


Purple People Eaters really do exist

Here is solid proof on the existence of a One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater. Not just some silly book written by iron-age goat herders. Oh, no!

Search Google for proof. Over 300,000 results!

There’s even video proof. See for yourself and HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE THE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!


Theists don’t even believe in prayer

It’s a good thing that theists don’t rely on prayer to survive. How do I know this? Well, you don’t see a theist standing at the curb, praying to clear traffic, and then blindly stepping out relying on god to keep them safe.

With notable idiotic exceptions, you don’t see a theist praying to keep them healthy with a burst appendix, or a broken bone, or a major laceration, or a bullet wound. No, they usually go to a hospital and depend on the science and medicine of the doctors and nurses to heal them.

They get jobs rather than praying to their god to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads.

If theists didn’t work, or go to the doctor, they would die at an alarming rate and, ironically, evolution would remove their gene pool from humanity. In the future, we’d have almost no theists and those that would pop up would die off quickly.

This is the hypocrisy that is religion. The ‘believers’ don’t really believe in their own dogma. They don’t believe in the power of prayer. Oh sure, if medicine fails them they might resort to prayer. Even while receiving medical treatment they might pray and when they’re healed, thank god instead of the good people who did the actual work. Ungrateful bastards.

But virtually all theists will choose common sense, hard work, science and medicine first, and prayer second to provide for them, keep them safe and healthy.

They don’t see it that way. You can’t point that out to them without them getting all defensive and yet still not have a plausible explanation for why they don’t believe in prayer.

Theists really are a sad, pitiable lot.