Amused Atheist

If you're not an atheist, you're misguided

Archive for September, 2012

Mankind is not smart enough

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I have no clue how computer chip manufacturers can create something as complex as the CPUs and GPUs in today’s computers. One chip has 7.1 billion transistors. That’s 7,100,000,000.

  • Each of those transistors is made up of multiple elements.
  • They all have to be hooked together.
  • They have to connect to the external world.
  • They have to do something logical following directions written by other people.
  • They have to do it billions of times per second.
  • Every second.
  • For years.
  • in millions of computers.
  • With very few errors.

Clearly, this is impossible for mankind to have created. Only a god has the power to do this (pick your favorite one of the thousands). God must have guided the hands of the hundreds of engineers, most of which probably don’t even believe in this god, whichever one was responsible.

This technology is mind-numbingly complex. I don’t understand it, therefore I’ll credit god.

Now, if I was one of those engineers reading this post, I would be so pissed off up to now. Some asshole doesn’t understand what they do, so he ascribes it to god.

If I was intelligent enough, and had taken the same courses in university as they did, and had the the same number of years of experience as they did building on the work of other smart people, then I could understand their work.

I don’t understand, so god is responsible.

Seriously, is there not one theist who doesn’t see the fallacy in giving a god credit for something they don’t understand?

God doesn’t work in mysterious ways. There are no gods. You’re just not intelligent or knowledgeable enough on the subject.

Give credit where credit is due — to the engineers, doctors, biologists, botanists, …

Give credit to science. It’s OK if you don’t understand.

P.S. Why don’t any of the gods talk about modern science these days? It’s kinda important, ya know.

Clap for Jesus

If you’re Jesus and you know it, clap your hands.

Don’t worry, christians, you know that Jesus will rise from the dead like a zombie. I never did like zombie stories.

Thank you, Jesus!

Hey, you up there, god! I’m talking to you, asshole!

Stop masterbating while watching priests abuse little boys and do something about this starvation shit. You have work to do you lazy, cocksucking stoner.

Maybe all the fucktards spending countless hours in places of worship and giving untold billions of dollars to religion could instead send it to the starving children you’ve abandoned.

Bless the children

Hey theists, see that starvation counter in the top-right of the sidebar?

Now see this image below?

If god won’t even give them food, why would he bless yours?

Fuck your god.

The simple truth


There is no god, and that’s the simple truth. If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense.

If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.

– Penn Jillette

A puzzle for creationists

Given a jigsaw of pieces of evidence to put together, a creationist will start with an absolutely unshakeable conviction that it’ll be a picture of a god. This is called ‘faith’. This is the one thing which cannot be, under any conceivable circumstances, wrong. The picture MUST be of a god. – Rosa Rubicondior

God loves a churchgoer

‘Beautiful’ family slain hours after church by ‘mentally ill father who was tormented by the prospect of Obama winning the election’

Albert Peterson shot dead his wife and two sons hours after going to church because he dreaded the thought of Obama winning the election, a family friend has revealed.

– Mail Online

Presumably, the father prayed to his god to help him understand and cope with his fears. But there was no god to hear.

It does not surprise me that a mentally ill man would commit a horrendous crime just hours after leaving church. The fact that he believes in invisible men already puts him at a disadvantage.

If he prays to this invisible man, then the response he hears is actually his own thoughts.

Instead of going to church, he should have sought psychiatric help from a medical professional — what we atheists call ‘real people.’

To the members of this man’s church and religion, you’ve got to be asking yourselves now, just what the fuck good is it to believe in a god that would let this family die so horribly.

Prayer cures all illnesses

So maybe prayer accomplishes jack-shit. Atheists have known that for a long time.

Science vs. Religion: It’s simple, really.

The word of god

Dear Christians, this scares the hell out of us atheists. You are sick puppies to believe this shit. Also, how the hell can anyone remember all this bizarre crap?

Who should we kill?


  • It is “shameful” for a woman to speak in church – 1 Cor. 14:34-5
  • A man must OK his wife’s words if they are to have force – Num. 30:8
  • A woman must not teach or hold authority over a man – 1 Tim. 2:12
  • Lot saves the messengers from the men of Sodom by offering up his virgin daughters to “do to them as you please” – Gen. 19:8
  • “Kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourself every girl who has never slept with a man” – Moses: Num 31:17-8



  • It’s best if all people remain unmarried. Marriage is a ‘lesser-of-two-evils’ compromise for Christians too weak to resist their sexual urges, “for it is better to marry than to burn.” – Paul: 1 Cor. 7:1-2, 8-9, 25-6, 38
  • The rapist of an unwed woman must buy her and make her his wife (apparently a far more ‘holy’ union than a genuine, loving same-sex relationship) – Deut. 22:28-9


  • If a man suspects his wife of cheating he can serve her a cursed drink; if she becomes deformed, then that proves her guilt – Num. 5:12-31
  • 42 children killed by bears for calling a prophet ‘baldy’ – 2 Kings 2:23-4
  • OK to beat your children with a rod;  it won’t kill them – Prov. 23:13-4
  • God commits, orders, or endorses every form of atrocity known to man (pretty much pick a page of the Old Testament at random.)

Do the Old Testament laws still apply?

Christ, what a role model …

  • Christ tells us we must “hate” our entire family, and even our own life, if we want to be one of his disciples – Luke 14:26
  • Those who abandon their families will be rewarded – Matt. 19:29
  • Turns family members against each other – Matt. 10:35-6
  • “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” – Christ: Matt. 10:34
  • “… if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.” – Luke 22:36
  • Curses a fig tree for not bearing fruit off-season – Mark 11:12-4, 20-1
  • Didn’t want to help a girl because she was a “dog” gentile – Matt. 15:22-8